Ending a Long Distance Relationship
Ending a long distance relationship is never easy. Embarking on one in the first place is already a risk. There is a good reason why many advice columns refer to successful couples in LDRs as having survived it. If you are in one, you know you are up against many factors that could cause the entire relationship to collapse, including physical distance, loneliness, jealousy, and other issues.
When it comes to ending a long distance relationship, certain steps have to be taken to ensure that there will be the least amount of hurt and inconvenience for both parties. Abruptly leaving an LDR without prior explanation will cause not just resentment, but also, in all likelihood, a long-term pain that could the person whom you once considered a lover emotionally scarred. If you are wondering how to go about it, consider these effective ways to find closure with an LDR that has stopped working.
- Prepare yourself for The Talk.
Ending a long distance relationship shouldn’t be done haphazardly. It is best to reflect on the issues that contributed to breaking off the LDR so that both partners are clear about what didn’t work in the hopes that eventually, closure will be achieved. List things to help you remember the points that you want to make if needed. Then, prepare yourself emotionally for possible scenarios while The Talk happens. There might be threats, tears, guilt infliction, name calling and other negative feelings and actions involved, but firmly standing by your decision while hearing out the other partner will ultimately be best for both of you.
- Talk face to face or make a call, but never break up by emailing, a letter, or via text message.
Ending a long distance relationship is easier and kinder if done face to face. Whatever you do, don't end things with a text or email.
A couple of years ago, a video clip of Britney Spears’ ex-husband Kevin Federline made the rounds of social networking sites and celebrity-oriented TV programs. It showed him receiving a text message on his mobile phone from Britney, presumably about her wanting a divorce. The clip received a lot of negative feedback because of the seeming callousness involved. In the same vein, ending a long distance relationship by a letter, text message, email, or other electronic means will always be perceived as a cowardly thing to do. Be fair to the other person in the relationship and make that call instead. Doing it over Skype is even better because at least you can see each other face to face. It is fine to give schedule a time for the break-up phone call with them to pick the best possible time to talk. However, as far as the actual break-up is concerned, face-to-face communication is best, with a phone call as a good alternative if it is really impossible to see each other.
- Give each other ample amount of time and space after the break-up.
Unless you and your ex have no problem transitioning from being lovers to friends in an instant (which isn’t the case for most couples), ending a long distance relationship usually entails having enough space and time to get over the break-up, pick up the pieces, and move on. Feelings are bound to be raw and sensitive, and seeing an LDR partner online or receiving messages from them can cause resentment and more hurt. Be sensitive. For instance, updating your Facebook status to “single” immediately will undoubtedly hurt your ex. Give your ex the time and space to heal. It may be difficult at first, but there will come a day when both of you will wake up and see that you have truly moved on from a relationship that may not have worked even if you lived in the same city.
How about you? Have any good advice for how to end a long distance relationship? Please leave your tips, comments, stories and questions below.
Related posts:
