It is good that you focus on the positive, starting out your response above with “I am so lucky to be in an LDR for 1.5 years with an amazing, wonderful man.” This tells me a lot about the kind of person you are and believe me, this amazing man is also fortunate to have you as a partner.

Although you laid out your situation very well, what you didn’t explain is why you feel so much pressure to get married or have a firm commitment from this man. Without one, are you secretly scared that you might be wasting your time instead of building a stable relationship with a man who lives closer and might be able and ready to make a full commitment?

This is why I recommend that you agree on your level of commitment and your goal for the relationship early on. If one partner wants to get married and the other wants to have a long distance relationship so he doesn’t have to make a commitment or deal with his partner all the time, then obviously, there is a conflict. Of course, this is an extreme example with regard to LDRs and I’m not inferring that this is what is going on in your relationship, but bringing up the necessity to make a commitment early on does usually bring these differences/conflicts to light.

Like you, I am puzzled as to why this man, who does seem very committed to the relationship, is not willing to take it to the next level. Perhaps you could set a timeline, say, 6 months from now (pick a number that both of you are comfortable with) and after that time, meet in person and have a serious discussion about whether you are both willing to make a firm commitment. This commitment should result in helping you to feel comfortable with your devotion to the relationship and it seems like engagement with plans to marry are what you should propose. I don’t think that it is unreasonable for you to expect this at this point in your relationship. And maybe what you refer to as “insecurity” is really more about you knowing what you want from this relationship and what you need to feel that he is as committed as he seems.

Hope this helps. If you need more help, for instance, with regard to teasing out why this man is loving but unwilling to take the next step, you might consider my long distance relationship coaching service.